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Shell Shocked: The Great Rack/Lack of Lamb Misunderstanding

September 17, 2011
Art Stevens , Island Reporter, Captiva Current, Sanibel-Captiva Islander

A guy goes into a Chinese restaurant and asks the waiter what the specialties of the house are. The waiter replied: "Today menu: flied lice with pork; but we have lack of lamb."

"I'll have the lamb."

"We have lack of lamb."

"Excellent. That's what I will have."

"What you have?"

"The lamb."

"I already tell you that we have lack of lamb."

"I know you told me that and that's why I'm ordering it. Sounds delicious."

'But we have lack of lamb."

"Yes, I hear you. Sounds good to me."

"So you order flied lice instead?"

"No I already told you. I'm ordering the lamb."

"But I already tell you that we have lack of lamb."

"And that's what I'm having."

"What you having?"

"The lamb."

"We have lack of lamb. How about shrimp and lobster sauce?"

"How many times must I tell you? I would like the lamb not the fried rice with pork or the shrimp with lobster sauce. You already said you have lamb didn't you?"

"I said to you we have lack of lamb. That's what I say to you."

"That's what I thought you said. So I'll repeat again. I WILL TAKE THE LAMB."

"You no hear me. We have lack of lamb."

"You know I've had just about enough of this nonsense. What kind of a restaurant is this anyway? You keep telling me you have lamb and I keep ordering it. And every time I order it you then mention the pork and the shrimp. What's going on here? Do you have lamb or don't you have lamb?"

"We have lack of lamb."

"So you do have the lamb?"

"We have lack of lamb."

"Then I'll have it."

"Have what?"

"The lamb."

"I tell you we have lack of lamb."

"I got it. I'll have the lamb."

"You no hear me? We have lack of lamb. We have pork, shrimp, chicken and much others on menu."

The diner and the waiter glared at each other for a long time. Each thought the other was playing some kind of stupid game and was being discourteous and disrespectful. Each was right given the information the diner and the waiter thought was being processed.

Finally after another long pause the diner threw a glass of water in the waiter's face. The waiter hit the diner over the head with a menu and the police were called in.

"What started all this," the police officer asked.

"I ordered the lamb."

"And I tell him we have lack of lamb."

The police officer said, "Well so far you two seem to be on the same page."

 
 

 

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